Laws of Friendship
by V.Evergreen
Summary: When two bodies collide there is always damage of a collateral nature. In this case that would be Tony's peace of mind and Clint's days of mindless freedom.


Steve just wanted an ordinary day. A day where he wasn't running around like a caped crusader or having to avoid Tony at his most annoying (and dangerous). He looked down one of the many halls of the Stark tower and decided that today was going to be the day. He didn't know what he'd do; maybe catch a film or even just go for a walk. The sun was bright and cheery and the comforting lull of traffic below was like a soft balm to ears so used to screams and gunshots.

He'd even almost made it out of tower before everything went to shit.

He made a rookie mistake; he'd looked into the communial living area on his way to the lift. He'd looked in and almost sprinted to his fallen team mates.

The scene jarred tremendously. After all he was witnessing Tony Stark and Clint Barton, two of the most capable and brilliant men he knew, shaking, pale and almost curled in on themselves. Tony actually had his knees hugged to his chest which must have pushed the ARC reactor painfully into his body but he barely seemed to notice. Clint didn't look much better, eyes wide and breathing shallow.

He crouched beside Tony first, "What's happened?" He asked. His voice was strong and in command, the type of voice he only usually rolled out in the field.

Tony turned to look at him and though his mouth moved he seemed unable to shape any words. The Hawk didn't even turn.

Steve hesitated before laying a gentle hand on the billionaire. He'd seen how the man usually reacted to contact but something told him that Tony at the moment might just need an anchor.

"What happened?" He asked more gently.

It took Tony a moment but Steve could see he was getting there. He waited patiently for an answer while trying to surreptitiously look the both of them over. There was nothing obviously amiss. No blood, bruises or unnaturally angled limbs. It had to be something else.

"We're done for."

Steve looked around, suprised that Clint had been the first one to talk.

"What d'you mean?" He was beginning to wish he'd just taken the stairs down to the lobby but this sounded serious. He got ready to hear the worst.

Tony looked at him, eyes wide and almost beseeching him to understand, "We tried to keep them apart," he said more earnestly than he'd ever heard the man sound before, "right from the beginning. Should have known this was always going to happen."

Tony's look darkened and he sprang to his feet with a swiftness that his pallor belied. Instead of pacing or anything of the sort he made his way straight to the bar. He picked up the nearest unopened bottles, one in each hand, and began to work the stopper off one with his teeth as he walked back. He tossed the unopened one to Clint who caught it deftly and made short work of the cap himself.

"It's our own fault." Muttered Clint taking a swig, "They're too similar. In different ways."

Steve resisted the urge to try and shake the answer out of one of them, "That doesn't even make sense. What's going on?"

"Nothing might ever make sense again." Said Tony mournfully, "Literally everything after a decade of work is never going to be the same again. What if she-"

Tony's ramblings were cut off sharply as the click of heels reached them from down the hall. It was accompanied by delicate high laughter that rang as clearly as church bells and sounded just as sweet.

Clint and Tony both jumped. Tony shoved the stopper back into the bottle and sent it skittering under the sofa he was leaning against while Clint merely hid his bottle behind the nearest cushion. Steve noted with curiosity as both men straightened and seemingly plucked a non-existent conversation from midair.

"I've got some new prototypes for you to look at down in the 'shop, when you've got a few minutes." Tony was so good at bullshitting, he'd had years of practice after practically growing up in a board room, that even Steve frowned a little in confusion as he struggled to catch on.

Clint, however, had no such problem, "Thanks." His voice was airy and just the right side of sincere, "The last batch are playing havoc with factoring in the wind strength. Must be something who with the aerodynamics- oh, hi!"

He broke off looking at the two woman who were standing in the doorway, both looking as though they weren't fooled by what they saw. Both Pepper and Natasha were dressed to make a killing in the boardroom. Natasha technically didn't have to work between missions, especially not at Stark Industries, but being confined to one place for any period of time tended to make her angsty. And an angsty Natahsa was one that didn't pull her punches in the gym, which Steve had learnt the hard way.

Pepper walked foward, "I'll be back at five, don't forget we're going out to dinner with the representatives of Hammer Industries tonight- don't give me that look we both know he's not in charge any more and it's a good oppurtunity- so you'll need to be presentable." She leant down and kissed him on the cheek before reaching under the sofa. Steve almost smiled as Tony almost looked guilty. Pepper just smiled, "And you thought I didn't see." She teased as she brought back her hand with the hastily hidden bottle.

Natasha walked forward and instead of kissing Clint on the cheek like Pepper had done to Tony (Steve was still trying to figure their relationship out, he wouldn't even know if he was meant to be suprised if she did) she cuffed him lightly round the head.

"Fury wants to see us at three to break in the new handler." She gave him a hard look, "Be there or be sorry."

Clint nodded and together Pepper and Natasha made for the door with their backs turned to the men. Pepper's phone went off just as she went to replace it in her bag, "Damn," she sighed, "the board are calling a meeting."

Natasha bent her head to see the message, "You still going to be able to make it to lunch?" She asked.

Steve stood there seeing nothing unusual until Tony kicked him sharply and have him a significant look, nodding towards the women.

"Wouldn't miss it." Said Pepper distractedly, "I've got to go, see you there." She leant forward, quickly pecked the assassin on the cheek before walking to the elevator, never once taking her eyes off the small screen of her phone or stilling her fingers from typing.

Natasha walked off in the opposite direction to where Steve could only guess she was heading to the office that was kept in the tower.

The minute they were gone Clint and Tony both relaxed, slumping and sighing.

"What was that all about?" Steve asked still feeling a little sore over the fact that Tony had kicked him.

"Are you kidding me?" Demanded Tony, "Did you just witness what we did?"

Steve just looked at him in confusion.

"Them. Together!" Tony waved his hands to where just a second ago the two women had stood.

Clint looked at him in awe, "My god." He breathed, "Tony, he really doesn't get it."

Tony pinched his nose, "Right, Spangles, you're on a team with possibly the most deadly woman on the planet, correct?"

Steve looked at him, what was this just stating facts? "Correct." He said.

Tony continued, "And I'm going out with a mildly terrifying woman who legitimately enjoys running a multi-million dollar company and who may or may not derive a perverse joy from organisation. With me so far?"

Steve had often wondered what was the glue that held Pepper and Tony together but whatever it was must have been bloody strong. "I'm with you." He said.

Tony looked at his face and noted the complete lack of horror. "He doesn't get it." He announced throwing his hands up in a typical dramatic fashion, "How can he not-"

"Shh," hushed Clint, "let me try." He turned to Steve. "Right," he began, " keep in mind everything Tony just told you and factor in the fact that they are now friends."

Discomfort was beginning to settle in Steve's chest ought he couldn't place a finger on why.

"Steve, think about it," Tony urged, "With Pepper's know how and Natasha's skill set think about what they could achieve!"

The blood drained out of Steve's face. How had he never thought of this before? No one was safe. Before they knew it Tony would be completely sober, Thor would have learnt how to use an indoor voice and Steve wouldn't leave his shoes at the door any more. Between them they could literally do anything.

"-it's like two gingers have decided they're going to kick the world's ass wearing six inch heels-" rambled Tony.

Clint held up a hand to stop him. He looked carefully at Steve's bloodless face before leanings back. "He understands Tony."

"What are we going to do?" Asked Steve despairingly. He liked both women separately but together he could only imagine the menace they'd be. A dreadful alliance had been formed.

"Nothing." Said Clint grimly, "To intervene would be suicide."

"There must be something." Said Steve looking back to Tony.

The man wordlessly looked at Clint who held out the remaining bottle. Steve hesitated. He'd need to drink fast to get drunk, four times as fast as either of the others. It would be difficult but not impossible.

He considered Natasha.

He considered Pepper.

He considered them together.

He took the drink, "Thanks." He muttered.

"Don't thank us." Said Tony holding his hand out for the bottle, "We're all going to need it."


End file.
